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I was lost, and still am

Hello! It has been a while and I'm sure some of you are wondering where I have been. A LOT of things had happened since I last wrote anything here. Some may be rearing to see a random review from me, but let me preempt you: I want to, but I cannot.

During the later half of 2014, I had a spike of demand for my work-at-home engineering gig. It was exhausting and fulfilling, but it was taking a lot of time. I am still engaged with this work, happily at that. And while it has stopped my blogging, it is expanding my knowledge of my craft and it is paying for the bills. Yay!

But while my career is gaining some good ground, my personal life, unfortunately, is not. I got pregnant last November but I miscarried a month ago. It was my first pregnancy too, after a year of trying. My husband and I were traumatized, to say the least. I am afraid of getting pregnant again, because the gory imagery that night of my baby's unfortunate demise is still with us. It would have been slightly easy to accept if we had a chromosomal problem during that pregnancy, but we lost the battle due to a ruptured placenta. The fact that such incidence is quite unusual does not help, too.

This is where I will take a leave from Pas Sosyal.

I will probably still update this blog from time to time to reply to comments and mail, but currently my work is owning my time right now. I've overloaded myself with projects so I won't even have time to cry too much, plus this working-horse-mode gives me some motivation to cope up with our loss.

In case you've seen all this blog has to offer, you can find a variety of good blogs being recommended within reddit. /r/AsianBeauty and /r/SkincareAddiction are two skincare related subreddits packed with tons of information - from linked blogs, to helpful FAQs, databases (check our /r/AsianBeauty's spreadsheet on cleanser pH!), progress pics and many more. The people there are quite giddy about it, too, so I highly recommend visiting those.

Anyway, thank you guys for the follow, link, reads, comments, and mail. Blogging about girly stuff was fun - but I think my experiences, both from highs and lows, shifted my priorities that I now want to just focus on my husband (but not kids - I'm not going to try to conceive ever), career, and my personal healing.

See you wherever, and don't forget your sunscreen!

xo,
Vanessa

3 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry about this, Vanessa. I went through a similar experience although don't think it's nearly as traumatic as yours, since mine was more chromosomal (blighted ovum).

    Anyway, take care.

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  2. I wish you well, take the time you need.

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  3. have been a silent follower of your blog after finding it on a google search. thank you very much for all your helpful reviews and for helping me discover /r/SKA and making me more aware about skin care ingredients. im sorry to hear about your experience. all the best for your work and life!

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